London Pub Tour 49 - Battersea: Grove, Magic Garden and Paya & Horse

It was time to pay another visit to Battersea considering this area is just across the river from my work place and has a wealth of pubs around the park, though I should note that this visit took place on a Saturday. My first port of call was the Grove (SW11 4NE) which I would say isn't your usual looking pub, but I think all three in this visit actually meet that criteria.

The front of the pub doesn't give away much or seem that appealing at first glance. There is art work on the outside of the unassuming building and steps up to the entrance for the pub. Through the entrance you climb some further steps before popping out into a lounge area with sofas. Now you climb down some steps and your in the bar area. The bar is to your right, and to the left is a raised seating area. There are other doors into the pub (even though the door I entered in is from the main road) with the main entrance seeming to be the side door through the beer patio and out towards the estate behind.

The decor of the pub will immediately strike you. As can be seen from the picture to the side, the bar is peppered with movie cuttings from Star Wars to Disney Princesses. From Scream to Pulp Fiction. There are stuffed teddies mounted above the bar. Each pump even has its own decorations with ghosts and dinosaurs, which are unrelated to the brands, but is a different touch. One of the exits for the pub is painted as a TARDIS and even the tables have not missed the movie artwork make over. Even the bar stools are a slightly strange design with what appears to be one slanted supporting leg.

The pub was empty on this sunny bank holiday weekend, with only three other punters though I did note that there was a DJ later for a birthday party booking, which the bar man told me would be for 60+ people. The bar had three hand pumps, with only two on offering either Sharp's Atlantic or Ubu. On Keg there was Stowford, Guinness (extra and regular) Carlsberg, Longhorn IPA, Becks Vier, Sharps' Craft Lager and Budweiser. As it was hot I opted for a cold pint of Becks Vier which came in at £4.30.

The pub had so much on walls, you could never take it all in on one visit. The pub shows Live Sports and had table football available. They do offer meals though I didn't look at the pricing or what was being offered. A gentleman came in asking to use the toilet for which the barman said he could if he donated 20p to charity or bought something. The man stated he had nothing, to which the barman said he wouldn't be able to use the facilities without a donation. The man walked out and then mere seconds later walked back in and had amazingly found 20p to donate. I didn't stay to see if he made the most of his 20 and demolished the toilets.

I walked a few yards down the road to my second stop the Magic Garden (SW11 4LG). Considering the amount of times I'm in the Battersea area, I've never ventured in the Magic Garden. From the outside the building looks like a standard boozer which is quite dimly light inside. Walking in through the main entrance and the furnishing of the chairs and sofas on the side, with strange rugs thrown over them grab your attention. Following this along you see a raised area in the corner, which on this visit had a Chaise Longue, with two people uncomfortably sat on it. Now this piece of furniture looks out of place, maybe because it's meant to be slightly to the side with the other strange pieces. This raised area is actually a stage, for the Magic Garden is a Live Music venue which is open till late on Thursday to Saturday, though if you come after 9pm there will be a fee.

The bar faces inwards towards the pub, and is decorated with leaves, small garden creatures and gold paint. Much like the Grove there were three hand pumps but with only two on offering Doombar and Coaster. The keg options were Guinness, Sagres, Amstel, Birra Morretti, Heineken and Coast to Coast. Not liking any of these options I jumped at a bottle of Wyld Wood cider. In front of the bar there were about three tables, all of which were empty, so I settled on one and poured out my cider into an ice-less glass.

There is a conservatory area just beyond these three tables, and then beyond that is the Magic Garden aka the covered tent area. The outside area can seat more than the inside area and follows with the same mismtached furnishings as the inside, but also perhaps has a slight Moroccan feel. There are large bench seating with soft furnishings and there's even a taxi, yes a taxi. There were about 30 people in the pub, mostly young groups. I understand the draw of the pub to some people, especially with live music, but it's not quite my style. I understand the outside area looks quite pretty at night with the lights on. As I was leaving the band were arriving for setting up.

I didn't have to walk much further to reach my last pub the Paya and Horse (SW11 4LB). The outside of the pub is painted a light green and had a row of empty picnic benches. The first sign of what to expect from this pub can be obtained from the blackboard outside which reads:
'No BT & Sky Sport (too expensive) foras'. There's also an A board sign just before you enter which talks of a £6 hot dog & pint deal, though I think it might be best to avoid the food.

As I walked into the pub everything looks just like a normal pub should except no customers or staff. Then a man with a hat comes walking across from the far corner, where there is a raised section, which faces out the front window onto the road. As he walks to the bar, he asks what you want, and it's not too hard a choice to make with only the option of Guinness, Strongbow, Fosters, Heineken or 1664. I opted for my Heineken and handed over the £5 demanded of me. At this stage it's clear this man must be the owner as the pub is literally decorated with similar style hats all on the walls. After finishing serving he proceeds to go back to his raised seating area and continue watching the snooker, which I interrupted him from.

The pub is large with lots of seating, some high tables and even a sofa area with tables, which is what I take up. The floor is carpeted and everything looks old school pub, even the mahogany wood colours. Everything is strangely quiet and I start to think I've never seen anyone in or around this pub before. Thankfully another fella enters the pub on his phone. He orders a beer and then looks around shocked to see no one is here, and give's me the look of 'what's going on?' I just raise an eyebrow and leave it at that. There is a pool table in the pub which my expecting stranger goes over to check on. He looks down and see's no balls in the machine and walks away. The owner then walks up to the table and starts putting the balls in the machine, and empties out the cash, and checks the mechanism....which is a very strange way to run a business.

The door goes again, and this time two ladies with two kids walk in. The man in the hat sees them and immediately starts saying 'No'. 'No'. 'No, kids'. The ladies think he is joking, but he clearly isn't and asks them to leave. The two ladies look confused, and unsure what to do before a man walks in. The man is with the ladies and hat man recognises him. He's a family friend and everything is okay, and the kids and ladies are welcomed in. This is the pub that just keeps on giving. I wish I could stay for another but this is surely too much excitement in one day for one person. I can honestly say this is one of the strangest pubs and the eccentric owner makes it.

So three different pubs in their own unique way. The Grove doesn't seem inviting from the outside but is actually decorated inside. The Magic Garden has a grand outdoor covering with the draw of live music. And the Paya and Horse has a £6 hot dog meal deal.